I have been reading about the Women In Secularism conference and CFI controversy. I do not like giving my opinion because I like to be liked and do not like being disliked for misunderstanding of what I say or for being wrong and not given a chance to reconsider and change my view, but I am going to try here. I am very unhappy with and even discouraged by so much I see in Skepticism. The way women are treated that was a topic at the Atheist Convention in Austin really put me off. I am embarrassed that people I identify with can be so disappointing. That this problem even exists is disheartening. All the sniping, name calling and being petty instead of rational and reasoned discussion is not what I hope to find in Skepticism.

Freedom and democratic behavior in which we respect everyone as a unique and valued individual is very difficult. It is very hard to listen to people express beliefs you disagree with or even know for certain to be wrong and even more difficult when you have heard it so many times before, but it is a part of giving everyone freedom of expression and respecting all individuals as unique and valuable.

I interpret Ron Lindsay's statement to say that to shout down or dismiss any person for any reason and deny them their say is wrong. To dismiss a person as having nothing worthwhile to contribute because they are in a particular group is wrong. Even if what they say is wrong, you must hear and understand them clearly-each person has a unique experience and perspective on the world. Also, to have any hope of having someone listen to you with respect and be persuaded by your argument you must earn their respect by granting respect to them and allowing them to feel respected, listened to and heard as a person despite what you may think of their argument and position. To dismiss privileged males only because they are privileged males is doing in reverse what men have done to women throughout history--dismissing them and their opinion because of who they are. It is very hard to listen to the same tired and incorrect argument again and again, but each person has a right to express their selves and be heard. Each person should be respected as an individual with their own experience and view of the world. It is hard to do but once emotion becomes the force behind a discussion and not reason, the situation is lost.

That being said, I am disappointed that Ron Lindsay and CFI do not more clearly explain and discuss this statement which is clearly creating so much controversy without the name calling and sniping The controversy is good as long as it leads to productive dialogue and understanding, but when it only is creating emotional divisions it is not and it seems like they are allowing it to do that without either defending it in a reasoned and rational way or refuting and apologizing for the statement properly. Controversy should lead to reasoned discussion and to a resolution and understanding, not emotional division.